Shafika will never tell her two-month-old son the real circumstances of his conception. She says it would break him.
“There were five soldiers in front of me at the door,” she says.
“They stopped me and grabbed my son. He was two and half years old. And they killed him in front of my eyes. Then they tore my top and started harassing me. Then they all raped me.”
Shafika (a pseudonym to protect her identity) is 27 years old and Rohingya.
In her small, dark shelter in Nayapara refugee camp in Bangladesh, she pushes her son on a tarpaulin cradle.
During our interview she sends her other two children, daughters aged eight and five, away: she doesn’t want them to hear what happened.
Shafika fled Myanmar last August when her village near Buthidaung in Rhakine was attacked – part of a campaign described by the UN as ethnic cleansing against the Rohingya people.
She tells us that the military arrived with rocket launchers, that the men were tortured and shot, that children were burnt alive.
“My heart pleaded to Allah not to wake up again while I was lying unconscious,” she said.
“But I have my soul inside and I survived. I wanted to go to the grave, digging the mud myself. If I’d had poison then I would have ended my life.”
She was rescued by her husband and carried on his shoulders, over the border to Bangladesh and to safety. That, though, was not the end.
The realisation soon came: she was pregnant from the rape.
Shafika wanted to abort the child, despite the heavy stigma it carries in Islam. But she didn’t know how to go about it in the camp.
She said: “I felt very bad giving birth to the child. I remembered the horror of the rape while I gave birth.”
Aya Tollah was born healthy. Shafika’s feelings though are conflicted: “I pity the baby. He is innocent.”
There are no official statistics on the number of Rohingya children conceived through sexual assault.
But roughly nine months after the most intense violence against the Rohingya, aid agencies say there are seeing more and more births.
Daphnee Cook, a spokesperson for Save the Children, tells Sky News: “It’s dirty, we’re just entering monsoon season so kids are highly vulnerable to landslides and getting lost.
“And on top of that we have children who are being born in the worst circumstances possible, where their mothers have been sexually assaulted.
“So we’re extremely concerned for the well-being of these children and in particular we’re concerned that they may grow up with stigma attached to them.”
Shafika wants one thing: justice.
She said: “They persecute us. They arrest and torture us. They rape girls and women. They do not have humanity. There should be the consequences for what they did.”
“What could I hope for? I am hopeless now.”